Welcome to part 4 of our series on sex, productivity and motivation.
This article is about sexual energy and sexual transmutation, and how you can harness this energy to send your productivity into overdrive. I promise that it will be nothing woo-woo – it’s about controlling desire, and about conserving and channeling your sexual “energy” (and related “energy” from attraction and flirting) towards productive ends, like getting more things done.
Update: click here for part 5.
We’ve gotten a lot of feedback from everyone about the series – thank you for all of it, both good and bad.
As much as we love getting emails saying “hey, that makes a lot of sense, thanks!” it’s actually a little surprising that more people haven’t been offended – sex is a controversial topic after all.
Based on requests, the remaining articles in this series are going to be shorter, with less theory and more practical applications.
Quick Summary: Sexual Energy and Transmutation
Thanks to Cameron (who wrote in), you’re going to be seeing more summaries at the beginning of our articles from now on.
Basically, sexual energy and sexual transmutation comes down to:
- Not masturbating.
- Continuing to have sex.
- Getting a crush.
- Channeling all the emotions, feelings and energy into productive things.
- Understanding how this applies differently to men and women.
Let’s get into the details.
As far as we know, Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich is the modern granddaddy of all theory on sexual energy. Sure, the whole idea of conserving sexual energy does go back further to Taoist and other Eastern traditions, but the first widespread, modern record is from Hill.
There are a couple of interesting things about what Hill wrote:
- He never actually tells you what to do, but does wax lyrical and skirt around the topic a lot.
- He only talks about men.
- When talking about Think and Grow Rich, no one ever mentions the sex transmutation chapter.
Channeling Sexual Energy (Transmutation)
As far as we can tell, the theory and scientific background for conserving sexual energy is fairly poor, and most accounts are self-reported, common folk knowledge or observational. So let’s skip that and get right into the how of channeling sexual energy – how to turn your desire, your love, your romance, your attraction… into action towards productive things.
For Men: Stop Masturbating
For men, it’s straightforward.
Here’s what Napoleon Hill was trying to tell you but couldn’t find the right words to do so:
It’s that simple.
Why? There are a lot of reasons. Here are some:
- Fewer ejaculations equate to better focus and a greater ability to work. Your body actually builds up larger quantities of testosterone.
- Historically speaking, most men masturbate as teenagers growing up, but as their access to women grows as they get older, most drop the habit. With the advent of Internet pornography, this process has gone out the window.
- If you abuse masturbation, it becomes a success barrier in your life. Think about all the time you’ve spent masturbating, and the opportunity cost.
- Giving up masturbation helps you give up pornography, which has its own set of problems. More to come in part 6.
The mechanism upon which this works is largely unknown and most people try to explain it spiritually through chakras and energy points and whatnot, but basically you conserve energy/hormones/emotion/focus and are able to channel them into other things, creating incredible results.
Now while the instructions are simple, the application is not. Most modern men simplecannot stop masturbating. Interestingly enough, more women than men can stop masturbating. Here are some tips for making this happen:
- Recognize that you will feel the need to masturbate or have sex. Keep having sex. But if masturbation is your only option – don’t. In the beginning, it’s just your body going through withdrawal from a long-formed habit. Instead of masturbating, force yourself to sit down and work – over time, this gets easier and the work you produce will be of incredible quality (not to mention efficient).
- Seriously, resist the temptation to masturbate. If you really can’t stand it, call your girlfriend/a girl over. It’s better.
- If you really can’t concentrate on work, you need to switch up activities. Go to the gym. Go for a walk. Go out and flirt with women. You can do anything else – as long as it’s not watching porn or masturbating.
For Men: What About Sex?
You’ll notice that we’ve said to keep on having sex.
Now if you’re really hardcore about this, you should have sex, but not ejaculate (we have a friend who does this – he pretty much kicks ass all the time). For the rest of us, continue having sex normally.
Your body knows the difference between sexual intercourse, and masturbation. Your mind does too. After intercourse, you get a healthy dose of oxytocin and testosterone. After masturbation, you mostly get dopamine, which can dramatically throw off your mental state (especially if you masturbate a lot).
What about oral sex or digital stimulation? Well, there’s no concrete data available, but our best guess is that the presence of a woman has something to do with hormone release, and that both are somewhere in-between masturbation and intercourse.
After you have sex, be sure to take zinc supplements. Zinc provides the raw material for the production of prostate fluid and semen, and your body will be in a deficit after sex.
For Men: Make Love To Your Mission
So now that you have all this pent up sexual energy from not masturbating, the question becomes what do you do with it.
There are two options here.
- If you are pretty self-disciplined, simply take your mission in life and follow it. Use the internal arousal and desire and focus in on that mission with everything that you have. If you don’t have a mission, we suggest reading The Power of Story and The Way of the Superior Man to help formulate one.
- If you have trouble being self-disciplined, you want to learn to make love to your mission. Give it a form, make it feel sexy, and feel love for it. Once you’ve done this, get to it.
Yes, Thanh and I do indeed make love to productivity on a daily basis.
When you start to do this, amazing things happen in your life. The most noticeable will be how productive and efficient you become at getting things done. People around you will also sense it – and you’ll start to attract good things into your life, be they resource, contacts, people, women etc.
For Men: What About That Woman?
If you read the chapter on sex transmutation in Think and Grow Rich carefully, you’ll notice that Hill makes a lot of references to finding the “right woman” to act as a sort-of muse for men.
For men, finding a specific woman to direct this energy towards isn’t actually necessary. The energy/built-up emotions and feelings that come from following the protocol of:
- Not masturbating,
- Continuing to have sex as per normal,
- Continuing on your mission in life,
is more than enough for most men. This is mostly because men have a biological imperative to seek out new partners to impregnate all the time, and thus focussing on a specific woman isn’t actually related to channeling their sexual drive.
Now there is an “exception” here, which is the concept of pair bonding. This applies much more to women and we’ll discuss it in detail below, but make a mental note that it is something that men can also do, if they find that it works for them.
For Women: Stop Masturbating?
As we noted earlier, Hill never mentions how women can channel sexual energy in Think and Grow Rich. We suspect that this is because at time of writing, there just weren’t as many women climbing corporate ladders and achieving awesome things as there are today, so Hill had no reference point. There may also have been less understanding about the nature of female desire and libido in Hill’s time.
So, the interesting question is – will simply stopping masturbation and focussing in on a mission work for women too?
We don’t see any reason that it won’t.
The only thing that is stopping us from simply telling women to do the same as men, is that there just aren’t as many women with single-minded missions in life (even today). This can be partly explained through a psychological difference between the sexes – men are typically more stubborn when they decide to do something and require less social approval. Based on our own social circles and network, we’ve also found that comparatively more men than women have strong missions in life.
Note: Actually most people in general don’t have a mission in life. But within the spectrum of men and women who do, the men vastly outnumber the women. This can be partially explained by remembering that gender relations outside North America and Anglo countries tend to be more “traditional”.
There may also be a physiological reason why this doesn’t work as strongly for women too – according to Taoist and other Eastern traditions, when a woman orgasms, she expends far less “energy” than when a man does (they offer this as a explanation for women being multi-orgasmic while most men are not). This sort of makes sense – men ejaculate semen upon orgasm, women do not (female ejaculation is something entirely different). Less sexual energy spent means less need to conserve it, meaning that women are probablyalready channeling it into other things effectively, so conserving and channeling a bit more through refraining from masturbation will have a smaller impact on productivity and results.
If you are a woman reading this, we say go ahead and try what Hill suggested to men:stop masturbating, keep having sex and channel energy towards your path in life.
For Women: Get a Crush
We briefly mentioned pair bonding above. Essentially, it’s biological parlance for having a crush.
Credit goes to Arden Leigh from A Weapon of Mass Seduction for pointing this out to us on Twitter – it really was the “missing piece” in working out how sexual energy and transmutation works for women.
Simply put, having a crush is having emotions or feelings channeled towards the potential of a future pair bond. The urge to pair bond is extremely strong in human beings, and as Arden Leigh puts it, “You’ll do anything to impress them”. This can be someone you’re already in a relationship with (spouse, boyfriend, fiancee), or someone you would like to be in a relationship with.
For women, it is more of an emotional crush than a sexual one. This is because sex is typically an emotional experience for women, whereas for men there tends to be a clear separation between the physical and emotional components.
Channeling this crush is simple: simply think of the object of your crush as you’re working on projects, and push forward with them.
Now just as it is unclear if refraining from masturbation and channeling focus into a life mission works for women, it is also unclear whether this process of having a crush and seeking to impress them works for men. If biological imperatives have anything to do with it, we would say no. Men simply aren’t wired to be as predisposed to pair bonding as women are. If anything, men have more of a “sexual crush”, which can be incredibly powerful in boosting productivity and motivation (basically, same thing as refraining from masturbation, and using thoughts of sex/women to focus in on work). There is a problem with this though – this sexual crush quickly fades once a man has had sex with the object of his crush, and men who are quite successful with women tend not to get crushes.
Bottom line: as a man, if you can use sexual crushes to help motivate you, great. If not, just stop masturbating and focus on your mission.
For Women: Keep Having Sex
All the benefits that men derive from sexual intercourse, women also derive (albeit, in the form of estrogen, not testosterone).
We’v also been told by numerous women that sex provides a giant emotional and physical reset for them, reducing stress, unblocking emotions and even resolving migraines. Probably something to do with all those good hormones.
For Women: Embracing Femininity
We briefly mentioned above the “man on a mission” effect – where a man channeling all his energy and concentration and focus into his mission in life becomes magnetic and starts to draw in all the things he needs.
Women have this too, but they have another way of getting it: femininity.
Femininity is the one huge thing that separates women from men. Seems obvious, but in today’s world it often is not.
Now what exactly to do we mean by femininity? Some modern interpretations would be:
- Dressing up.
- Taking care of oneself – exercise, diet, appearance.
More than that, it is being a woman rather than a man. Editor’s note: the corollary is also true for men – be a man, not a woman.
The clearest example of this is spending time in countries like Sweden or Norway – egalitarian and developed societies by any measure, but you can obviously tell that the women are happy with being women, while the men are happy with being men.
Women who have embraced their femininity have a balance and poise that is apparent to the people around them – it shows that you’ve got being a woman handled. As one of our female reviewers put it to us: it creates self-confidence and makes her feel better about herself. In turn, this leads to an increased motivation to do things, and a more productive life.
Similar to how we’ve looked at sexual energy and a mission for men, an abundance of feminine energy attracts resources, people, ideas, creativity and a whole lot more into a woman’s life.
Simple action step: embrace femininity.
A Note on Tantra
As part of our research into this we inevitably came across the concepts of tantra. It generally boils down to this (for men): learn to have sex without ejaculating.
Personally, we don’t think that men reading this should stress about tantra too much – the goal of sex without ejaculation is achievable, but as you’ve seen, is completely unnecessary to transmute sexual energy.
One caveat though: a lot of new age communities who have borrowed tantra traditions will try to convince you that orgasms are bad for men and good for women – this is total nonsense.
- Stop masturbating.
- Make love to your mission.
- Keep having sex.
- If it works, get a crush.
- Get a crush.
- Keep having sex.
- Embrace femininity.
- If it works, stop masturbating and make love to your mission.